sleeping dogs

i know, i know, love babble once again creeps into my blog. so here it goes, last Thursday i went to Phoenix with Michaela & Josh. on our way to pick up Josh, we were talking about Michaela's love problems then these guys from 2004 popped up Kiki, Lee & Mike.

i met Mike through Kiki at the warped tour and we decided to hang out some time since i haven't seen Kiki in a while, turned out Mike had liked me. He was so sweet & nice to me but of course being me i ruined it. =( we were drinking this one time at somebodies house & i ended up the only one drinking & got messed up & vomited at some park on the west side w/Mike taking care of me. the next day he picked me up from way on the west side to hang out w/them at music under the stars-- Liquid Cheese was playing. i didn't realize what i had in front of me & ruined it.

skip to my senior of high school, October 2005, i met Joaquin at an Appleseed Cast & Minus Story show. it was a fan-freaking-tastic show; one of the best ever. Jessica, Lizette & i sat next to him on the fireplace. i still remember what he was wearing-- a black & white striped shirt w/tight-ish black pants. i remember i wanted to see Appleseed Cast really bad & Lizette had to leave early so i started crying & Joaquin came back & stayed with me. it was nice =*) Minus Story blew me away, i effing love them! (one of my favorite bands since) we were sitting with our arms supporting our bodies on the floor. then Appleseed came on, we stood up and the music was just euphoric & it went with the night. he walked me outside since it was too late to buy merch, he kissed me & asked for my number. i was dumbfounded, i couldn't believe some guy was asking for my number. i gave it to him & he called; we started talking a lot & hanging out. he was really into socialism, politics-- well he was just a very interesting guy. he fascinated me. in retrospect: i think i got addicted to him...

jump to me ruining it with him. after the international noise show we went to, i started feeling weird. he tried asking me out & i played stupid. then i ignored his calls & i'm regretting it now. i went to where he worked and found out he doesn't work there anymore; so i doubt he lives in the same apt's. i feel so stupid! i ruined possibly my one chance at being in love with anybody. unfortunately my realization came to late.

it took 3x for me to screw things up w/people & now i learned my lesson. if ever i bump into him i know to leave sleeping dogs lie. =\

...I'm sorry