i like this boy =D
i haven't actually had a crush on anyone in a long time so it's kinda scary. to say the least he is a way cool guy, very witty and sarcastic- i dig that. i hope he at least likes me tho. he says he has a crush on me too, which is really nice to like someone who digs you the same way. i'm just paranoid that once he meets me he won't like me and get bored.
we'll see where this friendship/???? goes. hopefully somewhere good. =)
20 November 2007
05 November 2007
again and again and. again
it's been awhile.
lets jump to me visiting el paso october 5th, it was a lot of fun i hung out with Alex, this boy i really liked. jump to me visiting again for the rapture show on the 26th, the show was amazing! anyway, the naxt day i really wanted to see him so Nora dropped me off at his house around 2-3 am & we were hanging out then all of a sudden we started kissing, it was nice, i got to share a kiss with the boy i liked. but then i think he wanted to do more, well duh! he is a male. so i stopped & apologized for stopping, i don't know. bleh. i was just really paranoid that he wanted to use me, you know? he's a really cool guy and well i'm nothing. it sucks. he's like everything i want in a guy. i really wish we could become good friends. to make matters worse i probably ruined something with this boy Kalen, from class. i think i could've really liked him. but eh, he probably wasn't interested anyway.
starting to feel "alone" again. there's no one i can really talk to except for Pops =) on another note, i feel so detached from people, i'm not really feeling my friends as of late. i'm really glad i have him as a friend. and there's no one that share the same interests as me. it really sucks, i really wish i could make some friends at least people i have common interests with. i guess that's why i kinda wanted a boyfriend, at least i would be less lonely.
I really miss Joaquin! i know i know, i say that a lot, but i just can't get over things. i hate dwelling in the past. if only my present could be spectacular...
i've just been really sad lately. i can't stand it. i'm glad at least i'm not feeling like this ep, that was worse. i don't think i could ever move back there, i mean i like it there & all but it's just not for me, i want to keep going on to places. travel and travel.
i need to reinvent myself...
i'm in desperate need of a friend......
i really really want to disappear.. start over. i really do. i'm needing it
lets jump to me visiting el paso october 5th, it was a lot of fun i hung out with Alex, this boy i really liked. jump to me visiting again for the rapture show on the 26th, the show was amazing! anyway, the naxt day i really wanted to see him so Nora dropped me off at his house around 2-3 am & we were hanging out then all of a sudden we started kissing, it was nice, i got to share a kiss with the boy i liked. but then i think he wanted to do more, well duh! he is a male. so i stopped & apologized for stopping, i don't know. bleh. i was just really paranoid that he wanted to use me, you know? he's a really cool guy and well i'm nothing. it sucks. he's like everything i want in a guy. i really wish we could become good friends. to make matters worse i probably ruined something with this boy Kalen, from class. i think i could've really liked him. but eh, he probably wasn't interested anyway.
starting to feel "alone" again. there's no one i can really talk to except for Pops =) on another note, i feel so detached from people, i'm not really feeling my friends as of late. i'm really glad i have him as a friend. and there's no one that share the same interests as me. it really sucks, i really wish i could make some friends at least people i have common interests with. i guess that's why i kinda wanted a boyfriend, at least i would be less lonely.
I really miss Joaquin! i know i know, i say that a lot, but i just can't get over things. i hate dwelling in the past. if only my present could be spectacular...
i've just been really sad lately. i can't stand it. i'm glad at least i'm not feeling like this ep, that was worse. i don't think i could ever move back there, i mean i like it there & all but it's just not for me, i want to keep going on to places. travel and travel.
i need to reinvent myself...
i'm in desperate need of a friend......
i really really want to disappear.. start over. i really do. i'm needing it
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