We went to visit EP this past weekend for Cookies birthday. This was the first time i brought anyone home to meet my family ever. My brother actually liked Michael which is weird because he's very picky and judgmental. i'm glad he like him and Michael liked my bro too-- my family and friends for that matter. =)
the only bad thing that happened was that we got into a fight which i don't remember at all =\ cus i was piss drunk. it was horrible. never again am i drinking that much. i don't want to lose him.
As corny as it sounds but i realized how much i care for him and that i love him immensely. i do. i'm in love with my Michael....
<33
18 January 2008
02 January 2008
lovers coma
so lately i've been feeling really down; like i'm about to break anytime. i've been crying a lot again and even little things spark this. also i've noticed that i get very emotional around Michael even when we're just speaking over the phone, actually it happens more when we're on the phone together. i think we're falling out of love...
or at least i think he's falling out of love with me. here i am struggling with trying to figure out if i am in love with him; (i know i love him a lot!!) and i always realize this shit out late. i hope this isn't really happening... i want this to be at least semi-permanent if it can't be eternal.
how pathetic. once i've mastered not having any feelings for anyone beyond friendship here he comes along and bam! just when i stopped believing in love, maybe i still don't know what it is. i can feel myself starting to become distant and i'm not sure if i'm using this just as a defense mechanism. Nora left a comment--"love is an invention" she said she had forgotten about that...
i really don't know anything anymore about everything. i've lost passion for things i enjoyed and now i don't even know if i ever had any at all. i am a shell of my former self, a very cracked shell. i'm completely hollow and it scares me. i want to be happy again. i'm living in a coma. someone resuscitate me (Michael).
i'm addicted to feeling loved. does this come with emotional attachments?
i really don't know how to explain all of this. i need someone to talk to, a stranger. someone to feel close to, to build a strong emotional bond to share only to more than likely sever it. just like everything and everyone else. =\
i am a poor invention. make me a meeting with a 45 magnum.
i'm missing him already =(...
or at least i think he's falling out of love with me. here i am struggling with trying to figure out if i am in love with him; (i know i love him a lot!!) and i always realize this shit out late. i hope this isn't really happening... i want this to be at least semi-permanent if it can't be eternal.
how pathetic. once i've mastered not having any feelings for anyone beyond friendship here he comes along and bam! just when i stopped believing in love, maybe i still don't know what it is. i can feel myself starting to become distant and i'm not sure if i'm using this just as a defense mechanism. Nora left a comment--"love is an invention" she said she had forgotten about that...
i really don't know anything anymore about everything. i've lost passion for things i enjoyed and now i don't even know if i ever had any at all. i am a shell of my former self, a very cracked shell. i'm completely hollow and it scares me. i want to be happy again. i'm living in a coma. someone resuscitate me (Michael).
i'm addicted to feeling loved. does this come with emotional attachments?
i really don't know how to explain all of this. i need someone to talk to, a stranger. someone to feel close to, to build a strong emotional bond to share only to more than likely sever it. just like everything and everyone else. =\
i am a poor invention. make me a meeting with a 45 magnum.
i'm missing him already =(...
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